BP was brewing a similar marketing project for a while, but Mexico and the U.S.A. refused further engulfment. The English just replied that the company didn’t even stand for British Petroleum anymore— luckily, they later added off the record. Iraq was willing to embark on such a venture but the national team didn’t qualify for the World Cup.
To produce some sort of sound, very often a vocal one, seems to be a human necessity. To keep such a sound going on during quiet times, I developed a snore that can keep many awake all night long. Loud sounds, however, are a juvenile need: “Here I am! Look at me!” It’s the gene pool showing off its colours. Pretty drab a thing, ain’t it?
I'm enjoying so much the sound of vuvuzelas that I’m wishing Portugal to lose all the matches so that no vuvuzelas are heard over here. Due to the large number of Brazilians living in Portugal, I’m wishing their team not to be very successful either. Sorry about that.
The silliest thing about blowing a vuvuzela is that one’s not supporting one’s team; everybody’s just adding up decibels to a sound capable of ruining any creativity that could be going on on the pitch. That’s probably why the opening matches of the World Cup were as poor as the people living around the magnificent stadiums.
The best thing about a vuvuzela is that pickpockets can operate without worrying about a third party’s alarm.
‘Sorry! What did you say?’
‘His hand is in your pocket!’
‘Yes, yes! In the end I prefer soccer to cricket too! VUUUUUUUUUUUUU!’
To play a vuvuzela, one needs to set the lips as if producing the sound “brrrrr.” That’s pretty much the same as releasing the old fart *, which in turn is a very good excuse for me to stick a vuvuzela up its user’s ass—way too violent a thing, some would argue. I must disagree. The vuvuzela’s sound and its usage are extremely invasive too, to the point of being a health issue, as it might cause hearing loss, or spread viruses more efficiently than by coughing.
The vuvuzela then should be blown indoors only. And its tube should have a semi-circular shape, ending close to the user’s ears. Blowing a vuvuzela would be the same as blowing one’s brains out. And that’s voodoo to me.
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* If you think that “releasing the old fart” is an ambiguous phrase, that means you don’t respect enough the elder citizens.
